(The CW) NEW YORK - NEW YORK - Every week, New York City Socialistas, Kelly Will and Gregory Littley, will recap the latest 'Gossip Girl' episode, and give the insiders' view into what it's really like to be fashionable and fabulous in the city that never sleeps.

As Eliza Doolittle, new queen bee Serena perfectly states, "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." Even in her dreams Blair is having movie-themed nightmares about the social takeover that S is bringing upon them all.

Blair gets ready to give good interview at Yale while S reviews her full color photo on Page Six - the best gossip column in the entire United States of America. To appear in full color there is to truly live, succeed and eventually fall hard on your face.

Everyone in the gang seems to have gotten hand-written invites to the Yale-wannabe luncheon - I'm pretty sure that would never happen to so many students in one graduating class. S doesn't want to go to Yale initially, until big-mouthed B ruins it all calling her a soon to be "Veganista" at Brown. Chuck's sole goal will be to land a place in secret society Skull And Bones and maybe land a few ladies, Dan will seek to write and be understood at last, and Nate aims to stay quiet and brooding about his familial tragedies as they all depart on this school-sponsored educational adventure.

Meanwhile back in Brooklyn, Jenny, works hard to convince Rufus to allow her to home school and avoid Constance for good. Daddy R agrees to accompany Little J to the Atelier to watch her work and prove that she is deserving of alternative education.

At Yale – hmm...looks more like Columbia Univ. to us -- the boys get busy as Dan is forced to hoof it all over campus to get a professor's recommendation on his writing. Chuck actually does get caught by Skull And Bones for initiation. Nate falls in lust with a pretty co-ed and takes on Dan's name and persona to avoid association with his father's messy history.

The girls continue their verbal and cunning catfight as S somehow manages to snag her interview with the dean just before B's. The dean warns Blair that Serena has delighted him with a engaging story about walking in a fashion show for fun and how Yale doesn't want to be considered to stuffy anymore...only on TV kids...only on TV! Something tells me that the real Yale dean wouldn't be impressed with a fashion show catwalk.

The new Serena is ready for war with Blair and bumps into Chuck who gives away B's best tricks for impressing the dean at the private dinner that B did NOT get invited to. Nate hits first base with the coed in her dorm room on her tiny twin bed until meddling yet perfect Dan Humphrey, the real Dan, interrupts the make-out session blows the whistle on Nate. True to form, B, never one to take no for an answer, successfully bribes the dean's secretary for an extra invite to the dinner.

Chuck delivers on his Skull And Bones test, but they really want Nate Archibald - the bad boys of the secret society are dying to make young Archibald pay for the crimes of the father. Chuck sells out his best friend and lures Nate into the trap, maybe, while the girls hit the dean's dinner and fight for affections and early acceptance list.

As Chuck watches in the shadows, Dan (thought to be Nate - confused much?) gets captured by the secret society. B outs Serena as a "murderer" at the dinner. Conniving and dangerous 'frenemy' friendships turn more entertaining when B chucks her clutch at Serena's head and the not so lady-like ladies have a dirty catfight on the dean's porch.

In Manhattan, Little J runs an Atelier errand with Rufus. He just doesn't realize it's about to take him to Lily in a tiny, Serena-size mini dress that takes his breath away. That fire is still lit...

Poor Dan gets tied to a statue in just his regretful boxers, while the real Nate defends Dan and his family's honor by bar brawling with bad boys of the Skull And Bones. Nate runs to the gazebo where he and Dan bond.

S and B call a cease fire and a total cease friendship, as in, never speaking to each other again...until the next morning at the dean's door where they quickly make up. Oh, girls.

Rufus decides to support Little J and says they'll try home-schooling, while Dan gets his recommendation with Nate's help. Nate gets the girl (one last make-out with the coed) and Chuck threatens the dirty secret society boys with even dirtier pictures of them with three non-English speaking paid-to-order ladies. Chuck and Nate disagree about Dan, sending Chuck home solo in the town car. S gets her early acceptance, and B valiantly tries to be supportive, but does Yale just want a Serena/Page Six mention?

XOXO

Best quotes:
Serena to Blair during their catfight - "I hate your stupid headbands!" (So do WE!!!)
Blair to Serena, on the most influential people she knows - "Is yours Lauren Conrad?" (Ouch, Heidi!)

(The CW).