(The CW) LOS ANGELES - Every week, the editors of WhoWhatWear.com, a site run by Los Angeles based fashion know-it-alls, will break down the good, the bad and the drama of Stylista.

Stylista, Episode Two: Hidden Gems
Our most sincere apologies for our delayed Stylista coverage—last week's episode was preempted for a basketball game of all things! Now we've caught up with the show and have much to discuss. Before we launch into our breakdown of the second episode, we'd like to throw out a few things we've been mulling over since the pilot. First things first: the "junior editor" prize. As former fashion magazine girls, we'll be the first to say, what in the world is a "junior editor"? If you look at any masthead for any major magazine, there are no "junior editors" listed. In fact, we don't think anyone's called an editorial assistant (which is what the winner will be, don't think they'd give actual editorial responsibility to a reality-show winner) a "junior editor" since Sylvia Plath was one at Mademoiselle in the summer of '53 (and immortalized the term in her angst-filled favorite, The Bell Jar). Why the antiquated phrase, Ms. Slowey?

Another thing we find odd and unaddressed? The ELLE "downtown" office is, in our lazy and un-fact-checked opinion, the same building from one of the zillion America's Next Top Model cycles, no? We get why you wouldn't want to shoot in the actual ELLE barracks—editors have work to do, not everyone at the magazine is quite so "camera friendly" in looks as fashion plates like Kate Lanphear and Malina Joseph (dear lord we love these two), and, of course the biggest truth, the main office isn't one tenth as lovely as the "downtown" set—but at least be honest about it!

Anyway, now we'll get back to the task at hand, breaking down Episode Two, but please feel free to send us any of your burning questions and we'll do our best to either answer them, or make something up that sounds like it could be right.


The music in the opening credits and all of the Anne-doing-Meryl-doing-Anna shots are becoming a bit much. (The Devil Wears Prada reference for the clueless) Anyway, this week we pick up where we left off at ELLE downtown where everyone is crying over Arnaldo's elimination. Even heartless Meagan is shedding tears! This kind of sensitivity is just not going to cut it at any fashion magazine, let alone ELLE.
After reminiscing the short-lived memories with Arnaldo, Meagan leads a Kate-bashing session back at the ANTM loft, because she firmly believes her buxom competitor should have gone home. Ashlie (the model's daughter/breakfast competition winner in Episode 1) is not having it, neither is Cologne. Cologne goes to retrieve Kate for a house meeting (Alert: cliched reality moment about to happen) and unsurprisingly finds her crying in the bathroom. On a sidenote, we like the grey beanie and floral top Cologne is wearing. Now if only we could get rid of her drag queen mascara. And acrylic nails.

Kate is brought into a house meeting where she confronts Meagan, who retaliates by calling her a victim. This escalades to a small cat fight. DyShaun (The Andre 3000 of the cast) is on Meagan's side. Cologne and Ashley stand firmly with Kate, though we have a feeling they'd crumble before Meagan if confronted. The rest of the fashion wannabes seem sort of bemused, but the show's director of photography makes sure to get shots of Johanna putting her forehead in her hands and Jason rubbing his temples. This is clearly stressing everyone out. Very intense. Ha. All of this "reality" is getting annoying, can we get to the fashion already!?!?

Challenge One: Timed Mannequin Styling

The next morning we are finally brought to the ELLE set—er, office—where ELLE Photo Director, Brett Ramey, who sounds like Taylor on The Rachel Zoe Project (except she isn't nearly as badass, but we like her mustard yellow top and high-waisted pants) lead the contestants to the ELLE "fashion closet." Cue hallelujah chorus for this banal closet moment (that's not the real ELLE closet, but thanks for trying), where the camera spans over an endless amount of clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. "The closet is just crazy, I just wanted to take like everything home with me, the shoes, the bags, I meannn." says Devin. Don't get too excited, Devin, you're lucky you're even getting to touch it. Ramey administers the episode's first challenge—everyone has to style the naked mannequins with pieces that contain the following elements: knit, woven, pin-tuck, dart, funnel collar, empire waist, and set-in sleeves. They have thirty minutes. The winner picks teams for the next editorial challenge. Go.

Though this challenge might seem random or obscure, if you're going to work in fashion—let alone write about it —you need to have a complete comprehension of the industry's vocabulary. This initial task is testing the contestants on two things: their understanding of fundamentals (the basic words tossed around the office on a regular basis), as well as their taste levels (finding pieces that fit the requirements, look good together, and are on trend). We're nervous about what these people are going to throw together, and rightly so. The shots go by too quickly for us to really get a good look at anything, but from what we can tell, the results are grim, at best. Despite the advantage that everyone had of having a handy Fashion Dictionary (which might make a good Christmas gift!) for this challenge, no one seems to know any of their fashion terms.

The Initial Judgement

Slowey struts in, basking in all of her perfectly put together glory, and gives out verbal demerits ("Danielle, that's not pleats, that's pin tucking!") like this is a shooting range. We're okay with it, because no one seems to know what the hell a dart is (a tapered tuck stitched into a garment in order to shape it). In fact, we're glad someone as intimidating as Slowey is walking around making them all feel stupid. They should. Even if this all feels a little staged.

Kate's fashion dummy is a royal disaster. As if we weren't already certain of this, Slowey points out—"She looks like she got dressed on crack, actually." Meagan laughs. So do we.

Jason wants to know what pin tucking is and asks Anne. DON'T ASK ANNE QUESTIONS. We're pretty sure he earned his dismissal just now.

Slovenly-dressed mannequins aside, we are pleasantly surprised by the Model's Daughter/Ashlie. And Meagan. Even though she's psychotically rude, her plastic model is halfway decent with her funnel collar (check), empire waist (check), (and hopefully more) checking out. She wins, but we're not looking forward to the gloating.

Editorial Team Challenge: Chinatown Crawl

Meagan outspokenly divis up the teams for the editorial challenge in such a manner as to put herself on top (with the Chinese Linquist/Johanna, Andre 3000/DyShaun, and Jason, who she even purposely placed in her team as the weakest link in case they end up on the bottom, because he's the obvious inadequate participant) and Ashlie (with Boobs McGee/Kate and Devin, who styled her mannequin poorly) with the lowest advantage.

The other team of Cologne, Danielle, and the London Boy/William, seems promising.

In this secondary challenge, the groups must venture to Chinatown and find a "hidden gem" to do a write-up on for ELLE's Living Section (new ideas in Decor/Travel/Lifestyle/Culinary Arts). The only team rules are that they must find a unique and "hidden gem" (they obviously really want people to know the episode's title), that applies to the lifestyle of an ELLE reader and there also must be an interesting story behind it.

Watching the groups wander around to uninspiring places is sort of boring. And all of these scene transitions are really void of the glamour we'd like to see in a fashion show. More shots of the city, please!?!

Kate's team, with the help of their fluent-in-Chinese Johanna, stumble upon some healthy herbal tea or something. The two of them, plus DyShaun, gang up on Jason and don't really allow him to contribute in any way. Oh wait, they make him take photos. He's bad at it. (Questions Slowey and is substandard at this challenge, oh boy).

Cologne's team decides to feature a bridal shop. We're not really awestruck with this "hidden gem," but whatever. Ashlie's teammates Kate and Devin butt heads the entire time (we can hear Meagan's evil scientist laughter in the background owing to the fact that her plans are unfolding so beautifully). In fact, "Kate is so annoying, I want to drop kick her in the face." That's a direct quote from Devin. They manage to unite when they discover a somewhat underground spa that they decide upon for the lifestyle piece.

Cut to the night before elimination, everyone is congregating in the office and discussing how they think things will play out. Another sidenote, Kate is wearing a leopard headband. It's the cutest thing we've seen her wear, thus far. Jason realizes that he is indeed the weakest link in the house and starts developing a rash and panicking, literally. He's got fashion fever. An ambulance comes. (Producers high-five one another). Okay, if he's going to have a genuine anxiety attack because of one minuscule little task of finding a hidden gem in Chinatown, there is noooooo way he can deal with Slowey on a day-to-day basis. His housemates are all comforting him or sitting around watching, and it all is very awkward. This all goes on a little more than a little too long.

Elimination: Say Goodbye To...

Back from commercial break, and Jason is STILL having a panic attack. Thank God for Tivo, we're going to fast-forward to the results. Team Cologne, Danielle (who we still love, by the way), and London Boy/William are first up for discussion. They are commended for their very focused page and get extra kudos for relevant sidebars and silhouetted items.

Team Ashlie and the underdogs are up next. All in all, we really love Ashlie so far (we forgot to mention earlier, she tells off Meagan in the beginning of the episode!), but she is nervous at presenting. What. Is. Devin. Wearing. A formal high-collared red dress? Ack.

Team Meagan. Confusing layout. Mixed up headlines. Weak photographs (eeek Jason). Please don't have another panic attack.

Team Cologne wins, no surprise there. Let's be honest though, they didn't really present anything that groundbreaking. Team Meagan comes up short and Kate's plotted prophecy of Jason going home is fulfilled on account of his weak photography skills (we told you not to question Slowey...or have panic attacks). That's all.
(The CW).